In my previous post, I lamented about my inability to do more than hiding and whining in a secret blog. Someone then chastised me:
I am starting to wonder that people just don't want to stand up for the truth but yet always complain about it all because of the money that is shoved up into their arse. You're one of them too.I am shocked to hear that.
The fact that I don't dare to take to the streets, is because I have conflicting interests - I love my country and I wish to contribute to its betterment in any way I could afford; but I treasure my studies and career even more, it's more important than participating in rallies and demonstrations.
Some people might think that by getting a sponsorship from the government, I owe my loyalty to the current ruling party and hence should act accordingly - obey and be subservient to them. One might also maintain that since I spend the government's money, I shouldn't be the "slave to their money", putting up an official "nice" facade to my boss but whining behind the anonymity of a semi-private blog.
The thing is, when I said "I am enslaved by the scholarship", I did not mean I am "the government's slave". To be specific, I am not the current ruling party, UMNO / BN's slave. Instead, I am a slave to my selfish interest, to my protection for my career and money and my family.
Receiving a scholarship is not tantamount to submitting to the current ruling party's patronage. If there's anyone I owe gratitude or loyalty to, that would be my country's people and its tax payers - they paid for my studies. In fact, being a scholar who is privileged to receive an education overseas is a gift that I heartily treasure. It made me see my country clearer in a place without the all-encompassing media control, and I am able to contrast clearly the "democracy" as practised by my country with those by other countries. And by writing some informative posts and disseminating alternative views and opinions, I believe that I am actually doing good to my boss (the people). That's how I am repaying my debt to the people.
In short, to say that I must either be a silent lamb or abandon my scholarship with gusto, is rather impractical. By recklessly abandoning my scholarship, it would simply make me lose my education, hang on a monetary cliff, suddenly incur debts amounting to hundreds of thousands, and land my family in great troubles.
And what good would that make me, or my boss?
11 comments:
Don't worry about it. There is no point in fighting a battle you cannot win. There are many ways for people to contribute to change.
Demonstrations end in violence when people get violent. And they do..though they shouldn't. I don't see you participating in demonstrations.. First of all, it would seem like next to nothing. What is one more person going to do to your cause. Secondly, you are right that it will hurt you and your future. Which would be a terrible thing because of one word: influence.
Depending on where you take yourself in the future, the amount of influence and ability you have to exact political change in Malaysia may be more helpful then than what little you can do now. There is no point jeopardizing this as yet.
"Anonymous" should take his comments and shove it up his ass..
PS: Try not to shit out the money that's been stuck up yours too quickly :)
Hah fake andrew, while I thank you for your comment, please don't throw vulgarities at anonymous la. It will make this blog unpeaceful (sound a bit deja vu hor :P)
Anyway, I haven't really dreamt of doing something really big in terms of political influence. I am content with exercising the right of a citizen in the five-yearly elections, and voicing out in issues that matter.
oohh..i suddenly realised the sentence: ppl shud not be afraid of the govt. govt shud be afraid of ppl. haha. good good.. :P
Haha, he started it!
:P Actually everyone is either my friend or my old blog readers here, so I don't want to offend people or see people arguing here.. So it's not that I am biased or anything. Hope that you understand. :)
Oh...he must be a very good friend of yours then
No I don't know anonymous at all. I just know that he / she must be either my friend or my blog reader, since nobody else could have ended up in this blog without my invitation.
hmm..i'm confused. can this blog appear on google or sth? or only invited readers can read? cuz i think if u wanna like draw awareness to everyone abt the state of govt leh..btr put in google or sth so at least more ppl read.. ;)
This blog doesn't appear on Google, so the only readers here *should be* people who asked me for the blog URL.
While I would like more people to read it, I would say that there are many more updated and comprehensive socio-political blogs out there, and my blog can't compare to those blogs. So this is more of a personal emotional outlet and a private chat area with my friends, and I am more concerned with its anonymity than its readership. :P
The reason why I said he must be a very close friend of yours was because he/she insinuated that you have money shoved up your butthole since people wouldn't normally say things like that to someone you hardly know...
Oh..actually...people do...
:)
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